In the event of my death

I dream of dreams

Which tell me stories

Of things to come.

I close my eyes to

Sleep and see nothing

Except on days when

Messages of the

Unknown are passed

To me.

I dreamt a dream

Where you left me and

I wept… it never occurred

To me that when the messages

Come alive they are not

like they were when my

eyes were closed.

I realise now that you

Will wait, from obligation

Or hurt? You will wait

Before you let yourself

Embrace again.

The words; secrets lying

Untold hidden amongst

Pages and words written

On my body but never

Escaping my lips, hang

There. I care more than

The word care itself.

The distance is there. I feel

It when I open my eyes

To look at you when you hold

Me. I hear it in my voice

When I speak to you.

That tremble I felt

Holding you holding me,

Those tears I cried

Without you ever noticing

Fall again now.

I’m glad to have known

You. I didn’t open my

heart to you completely

because someone once

said these things

take time.

This though I do not

Have because I realise

That you, sitting there,

With me. When you leave

me in that coffee-shop,

you have been sitting with

me for a while.

I realise now that

When I pass on

The fingertips of

My laugh, my eyes,

My hands barely fitting

Yours, my smile,

the things that pass and

matter to us will remain

etched in your memory,

you who holds only

what matters,

I hope I do.

I dreamt I was

Amongst a sea of

Faces, not alive, searching

For me and realise

That I must stop

Searching.

The window crashed open

And blew this candle

Out. Words could never

Be so simple even

When all you’re

Really saying is

I love you.

She waits in my memory,

My heart and I might

Walk towards her and

Ask her to take me

With her, maybe that’s

Why she has been walking

Around with me.

The silences that exist

Between us are no more

Louder than the times

When you laugh and

I don’t.

If I die tonight… in

The event of my death…

Never forget the moments

That mattered because

I won’t.

 

The oculus chapters

 

Part 1

Amongst the threads and bits

You told me formed you, I

Found a piece of tattered

Fabric neatly folded to

Hide its tattered-ness.

 

The button I needed I

Looked hard for but I

Couldn’t find it. As hard

As the remnants of

Every idea you hold

is your own…

 

Part 2

 

You are not an original

Creation, nor are you a

Masterpiece, so like everything

Else that exists within their

Threaded notion of existence,

Held by your ideology of

Existence it’s hard to

Acknowledge how your

Uniqueness is not new

Nor life shattering, someone else

Has done it.

 

Part 3

Totality, your idea of where you are

And where you want to be, you

Forget that the nuances of your

Words pulled together in cool

Lines and non-rhymes are not

Necessarily the epitome of poetry

But rather words, haphazardly

Thrown together in a blender

In the hope that a shake worth

The effort will be formed and

Poured into your breakfast

Glass for you to devour,

 

Totality, you lose the essence of the

Dictionary’s contents in your blind

Fiddling, pulling, hoping and

Not really knowing if you make

Sense to those you stand in

Front of your mic and dish

Out that vocab for, those who

Hope you will write their

Story unawares.

 

Totality, You showed me a dream

In which everything I said

Was so awesome, shiny like a

New platinum ring that surrounds

Your so said inspiration.

Totality, you’ve forgotten

where you were, where you

came from and all you

should lie about.

 

Part 4

Mouth gaping not really saying

Much, why do you feel

You hold the world in your

Hands when all you’re

Holding are the sand

Particles of your life as

It slips, dried out like

The Karoo desert sand in between

Your fingers and as it

Hits the ground becomes

Yours no longer.

 

Part 5

Whose responsibility do you think

It is when you’re being rude

To shut you up?! Tell me that

When you’re senseless and never

Aware of any of the things

Anyone could find to be

Normal, where do you stand

with your guilt and

uncertainty?

 

4 thoughts on “where nothing and everything happens

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