My whole life.
This thing feels like those
ridiculous things where they
say it will be hard, and then it will
And when you’re lying on the ground
barely able to pick yourself
off the ground it will get even harder
and even worse than before.
And just then you’ll see a
brightness, you’ll swear it’s a light
at the end of this nightmare
and you’ll dare to smile,
you’ll dare to welcome this
sunshine to kiss your skin,
you’ll imagine what it must feel like to feel
those green lush grassblades between your toes
as your feet sink into the carpetness of the grass
And then your eyes will begin to feel irritated
you’ll start coughing
your chest slowly tightening will remind
you that you always imagine such wildly
wonderfully wonderful things
You weren’t put here to walk on lush green grass.
You weren’t born to feel sunshine kissing your skin.
You weren’t delivered into this world to be filled with light.
You are here to live this hell and wear it well because heaven knows there’s nothing more graceful that a spirit held together by bits of artificial sunshine.