You put a bow on yourself
and presented yourself to him.
the birthday gift he didn’t have on his list.
The gift that gets returned to the store for a refund-
the gift that one conveniently “loses”.
The thing no one wants.
The one that leaves people with that-
I’m-confused-but-you’re-watching-me-unwrap- this-so-I’ll-stifle-my-“WTF is this??” face-and-instead- smile-because-this-is-awkward
-smile which makes them look like they might be relieving themselves.